The Beautiful and the Brutal

Finding meaning beneath suffering.

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The purpose of life is to be happy.

His Holiness the Dalai Lama

In 1964, Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart, commenting on a case involving hardcore pornography, said,

“I can’t define pornography, but I know it when I see it.”

The same can be said for happiness - you know it when you see it and when you feel it.

For much of the world, happiness is not something easily obtained–it emanates from deliberate actions amidst suffering. In northern Nepal, those actions are grounded in something unseen and utterly profound.

What is that unseen source?

Wisdom from the foothills of the Himalayas.

I have just returned from a month of trekking in the foothills of the Himalayas. I have been a hiker and backpacker my entire life, and many of the daily treks I did were among the hardest things I have ever done. I have mountains of respect for the guides, porters, and villagers of Nepal.

Aside from the Nepali men, women, and children I met along the way, most of the people I encountered were wealthy individuals from Europe and the United States—people who looked a lot like me.

We had porters to carry our heavy loads.

We had regular hot meals and comfortable beds in the tea houses in the small villages along our route.

We didn’t have to worry about health care because all of us had purchased emergency evacuation insurance. The people who live in the thousands of tiny villages have almost zero access to health and dental care.

If you live in a remote village and your child needs emergency surgery, you have limited options. The best you can hope for is that your friends and family have enough money to afford either a Jeep or a helicopter to transport him or her to the nearest hospital (there aren’t many to choose from). Health is a fragile thing that demands protection.

While the mountains were spectacular, it will be the faces of the children that will forever linger in my mind.

It was the children who bestowed their wisdom of innocence and contentment on me virtually every day.

Image by the author

Schools - where happiness flourishes.

I visited schools where classrooms contained children but no teachers because there aren’t enough to meet the demand, so kids teach themselves. They organize lessons without prompting, play games, and use their time remarkably well. They are happy.

There wasn’t a trace of suffering in their faces. These are children who have never seen a shower, a pediatrician, or a department store. In the material sense, they have very little. In a spiritual sense, they live abundantly. They are far happier than I have ever been.

Many of these schools can only be reached on foot, for there are no roads, only steep trails. One school I visited required that our driver park his Jeep about half a mile down a steep incline. We climbed nearly 400 feet to reach the elementary school.

As I sat down with children of all ages, I was astounded by their boundless resilience, curiosity, and joy. They were fascinated by my Nikon camera and took turns holding it. They seemed content and unaware of anything missing from their young lives.

While these children were in school, their parents worked brutal, physically exhausting jobs. The average life expectancy for men is 69 years, and for women, it is 72 years. Grueling work exacts a toll.

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Human beings toiling like pack animals.

One of the enduring images for me was the constant parade of men and women carrying massive loads on their backs held in place by a strap across their foreheads called a tumpline. The stress on their necks must be horrendous. They wore tattered shoes and sandals.

The trails those men and women walked on weren’t like the groomed ones you see in most national parks. No, these trails were comprised of massive stones, held in place by other rocks. They were covered in sand, mud, and mule dung. If you were going uphill, you would sometimes have to step up two or three feet, not an easy task if you are burdened with a hundred pounds of supplies on your arched back.

The faces of these men and women were not filled with happy smiles. They were suffering. We do them a disservice by romanticizing or ignoring their suffering. Their pain is very real.

They suffer because there is no other choice. The only way to get food, firewood, textiles, and building materials was to either carry them on your back or the back of a mule (if you could afford one). I invite you to put on a 30-pound pack and walk up ten flights of stairs. Now triple that weight and imagine hiking up 200 flights of stairs and back down. It’s damn hard.

Can you picture such a life? Knowing that every single day would be the same. Regardless of the weather, you could look forward to demanding more from your body than it was designed to deliver. You would begin to break down.

What sustains these people?

I could only identify two sources of sustenance.

Family and faith.

Stupas: Spiritual monuments to purpose.

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Almost all of the people in the northern regions of Nepal are Buddhists. Stukas (shrines of varying sizes) dot the landscape, often located high up on ridges. The stukas are frequently built of better materials than the houses of the people who construct them.

At some point, people had to carry hundreds, if not thousands, of pounds of stones and cement to construct these stupas. The stupas did not provide shelter, only food for the spirit. Whatever motivated these people to climb hundreds of feet to build enormous shrines in exposed areas must have been compelling.

That motivating force was the Buddha of Compassion. Those stupas were priceless monuments to purpose in people’s lives.

While their bodies might be aching, their hearts, minds, and spirits remained vibrant thanks to the love they had for the Buddha and his teachings. The Buddha is their reason for living.

If all the superficial nonsense in your life were stripped away, what would you find at your core? When you are alone with your thoughts, are you able to see your reason for living?

For me, it is compassion for children. If I were to build a stupa, it would be dedicated to that purpose.

When you know why you are alive, a massive load is lifted from your soul.

Prayer wheels.

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Surrounding some of these stupas were rows of prayer wheels - you may have seen them in a YouTube documentary.

These cylinders, often painted red, are filled with written prayers. So every time that you spin a prayer wheel, you are activating the many blessings contained within.

I spun hundreds of prayer wheels.

Imagine you had one prayer wheel in your home. What prayers would you write down and place in that wheel?

You do not have to be a Buddhist to reap the rewards of prayers, especially those that focus on the well-being of others.

Our guide, a young woman named Kunsang, was constantly humming a rhythmic tune. I asked her what she was humming. Her answer brought tears to my eyes.

Om Mani Padme Hum - may you be blessed with love, compassion, and healing.

I leave you with this simple gift.

Om Mani Padme Hum is a mantra that is sometimes referred to as the “Prayer that destroys all evil.” It is a prayer for compassion and healing for all living things. Here is a link where you can listen to monks chanting the mantra "Om Mani Padme Hum."

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